this update is reporting on two things: like usual, writing and studio practice.
writing wise, i have finished the second draft of the rdc2 chapter, and am working on draft 3 of the rdc2 report. will have notes etc from my advisors in the next week or two, and am planning on submitting by the end of may. the chapter, losing the glossary and taking the form of a play, was a good idea, i think, it opened up everything for me. it also helped me to put my advisors’ comments in a (dialogical) context, and i saw something in my writing that um i don’t want to talk about out loud but because i don’t want to i will.
i wrote a lot of words without saying anything, and see now that the first draft was in large part me thinking things through, but not very thoughtfully haha. and it took all of this upfront work (which i didnt think at the time was work i wouldn’t use) in order to get to where i could articulate the main things i’m trying to articulate, that is: lukumi spells, palo charms, lacan’s desire, when put in place, in action, in rehearsal, have effects on the performers that seem very similar. this i’ve said, but not so much in terms of how. which part of the charm is like the subject, or object, etc etc., and suddenly i am seeing why some have had trouble understanding what i’m talking about, because i am not articulating what i know, but i didn’t know what i wasn’t articulating, and now i know.
so i am learning how to write.
in terms of the studio project. yikes. i formed a new theatre company with friends, and am not directing this time, so i can focus on the ritual parts of this, getting performers into trance, putting them under oshun & yemaya spells, etc. however, the director tore a ligament and a tendon, lengthwise, and had to have surgery, and so i got to direct for a bit again. and the actors have had staggered schedules so tonight is the first time we’ll all be together in the room at once. and this: the space, we have a perfect space, but suddenly can’t get in touch with them, and they’re not answering any questions about moving in next week to open, so, we are not sure we have a space after all (this has not happened before, i’ve worked with this space lots of times and think the people are lovely), so. these complications have meant that i’m not focusing on ritual and trance with the performers but am doing many things at once. not ideal, but i suppose it never is, and, this one is focusing on the psychoanalytic mind, and a deep trance is not necessary, just a lightness of consciousness, a light state of otherworldliness and lots of discussion of projections and mirrors, it will work, but not with as much documentation in the process as i wanted.
i’m guessing i’m not the only artist-researcher who has been frustrated, but at the time that it happens, it sure does feel like you’re the only one in the world. we get to work through these things and find out what we found out after it’s all over and not a moment before xo
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